Coping With Pet Loss

Losing your pet can be stressful and very hard to deal with. Oftentimes, the grief that one experiences at the loss of a pet can be equal to the grief of losing an immediate family member - because, really, many people consider their pet as a family member. After years of companionship and unconditional love that a pet provides, its sudden absence in your life can bring with it overwhelming feelings of grief and loss. How you cope with this loss is ultimately very important for your sense of future well-being. Here are some tips to consider.

Accept that it is ok to have very strong feelings of grief. These feelings are valid and normal - you had a strong bond with your pet. Despite what others may say or how they may react to you experiencing these sad feelings, you should not feel ashamed.

You likely will feel a variety of types of emotions beyond just sadness: including guilt, fear, depression, and anger. These emotions are all normal.

Embrace and Express your feelings: The level of emotion that you can experience due to the loss of a pet warrants release and expression. Try and do this in a healthy manner. You can create a scrapbook, or write poems. You may want to have a pet memorial - a gathering of friends that were also close to your pet to share memories and experiences. They key is that you do not ignore or try to bury these feelings.

Do not try and replace your pet right away: It is generally accepted that replacing a pet is not a healthy way to cope with the death of a pet. You need to properly grieve and mourn the loss of your pet before you move on, otherwise you may have unfair expectations or confusing emotions with the new pet. You should get a new pet when you are ready to build a new relationship, not to replace and old one.

As you go about your daily routine, you will likely come across daily reminders that trigger uncomfortable moments or emotional reactions. Perhaps you will see another pet on the street that looks like the one that you lost, or maybe someone will inquire how your pet is doing, etc. Try not to let negative feelings overwhelm you - try and remember that these moments arise because your pet had a meaningful, real presence in your life and whose existence had a significant place in the world around you. It may help to talk to a close friend or relative about these moments as they happen to help ease you through this coping process.

Just like the other human members of your family, your other pets may be upset by the loss of a pet as well. Here are some common ways that you can tell if your other pets are upset by the loss:

• Sudden disinterest in normal activities (eating, playing)
  
• Angry, destructive behavior
• Changes in normal sleeping patterns
• Different, higher pitched sounds
• Clingy behavior

If your other pets are displaying signs of grief and mourning too, it may be a good idea to provide them with a little extra attention and TLC.

There are millions of folks who have gone through the bereavement process of losing a pet, and there are many good resources online that you can access to help you through your pet loss grief. Here are a couple of good ones:

ASPCA: Pet Loss Information Page

Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine Pet Loss Support Hotline

Companion Animal Related Emotions Pet Loss(Univ Illinois)